I woke up this morning and was feeling better. I think I slept all night, uninterrupted. My son woke up and came straight to our room to tell us the story of the Transfiguration. Apparently that’s what he learned at vacation Bible school yesterday. It was delightful to hear him excited and full of the details.
Then my brain got warmed up, and the world felt heavy and dark again. It’s weird because I know there are little lights shining all around me. So many people are praying for us and encouraging me. My son is obviously thinking of awesome things about God. Something that ought to make me ecstatic: today I saw the senior pastor and felt warm and kind toward him as we nodded and said good morning to each other.
But all those lights look tiny and far off, and the darkness seems very near. I feel like I should do something about it, but nothing I do seems to make it better. I suppose this is forced dependence on God.