Realistic Optimism

Today I celebrate one week of good days. I can't remember the last time I had seven days in a row of feeling reasonably motivated all day and content with 8 hours of sleep. It feels like the balloon is deflating this morning, but I am thankful for the last several days.

Before depression, I found it easy to be optimistic. Life felt good, or if it didn't feel good, I had reason to expect it soon would. If A = happy day and B = sad day, my life before depression was like this-

A A A A B A A A A A A B B A A A

Evidence favored optimism.

Depressed, I have become pessimistic. For the last year or so, life has followed an inversion of the pattern above-

B B B B A B- B B B B A B- B B B

Reent experience has taught me to expect sadness. If I am happy, I expect the happy feeling will soon fade.

Putting several "A" days together is very helpful in revising my expectations. If a good day does not necessarily lead to renewed misery, then I feel like there's a basis for hopefulness.