Sunday, June 20, 2010

Medical Woes

I've been in the hospital for the last several days. I came with pain that made me think appendicitis. I was right on that point, and had surgery to repair it. The surgeon also removed a "large" tumor nearby. Sounds like I'm headed for six months of low-level chemo in the near future.

This is what I've been telling God: "Well, look! Here's something else. Cancer. Good thing you are bigger and more powerful than this mess because it is a MESS. There are entirely too many piles of sh** around here and I cannot cope with them all. I fully expect you can and that you will hold onto me and all of it and just dole out what I need one day at a time.

"You also know that in a few days I'm going to stand up and start pointing and barking orders and trying to get a handle on all this for myself. Please forgive me. And be gentle with me. This is very, very hard."

I can see already that there are going to be some interesting comparisons between dealing with cancer and dealing with depression. People are much better prepared to support a friend with cancer.


  1. I will be adding my prayers for you and your family.

  2. I absolutely love your candor, attitude, and resilent faith. You and your family are in our prayers.

  3. Long time off-and-on lurker. Pretty sure first time commenting.

    Somehow I missed the depression posts (as I said - off-and-on), or I would have been praying for that, too. Know that you have my prayers as you are dealing with that and the new cancer diagnosis. I have to say that I'm really, really glad you had the "appendicitis" pain that got you to the hospital now. It somehow continues to amaze me how God uses crappy stuff to reveal stuff that would be crappier down the road.

  4. Ugh. That too! As always I keep you in my prayers. God be with you. -oms

  5. Once upon a time, when it was much less understood, people were not very supportive of someone struggling with cancer. It is brave souls like you, who speak out about depression, that will gradually change the way people respond. You are a hero! My prayers are with you and yours.

  6. @christfollower - if candor and resilient faith are what people think of me at my funeral, it will be a life well-lived. thank you for saying that.

    @A Deacon's - i had no idea! that is fascinating and encouraging to me.

  7. It seems like sometimes one thing after another hits us until we think we just can't take it anymore. My husband recently asked his dad how much longer until he could go and have his name officially changed to Job!

    I believe for myself, that when I'm dealing with one thing after another I find myself drawing nearer and nearer to God.

    I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I am SO curious to see how people react differently to you with cancer than depression as I have also written a post wondering that same thing!

    I'm here, praying and supporting you from a fat but feel free to contact me. I'll listen and I care! Gina


Thanks for using this space to share your encouraging words.