Monday, July 5, 2010

Why Me?

I'm having an upside-down "why me?" spiritual/existential dilemma.

Plenty of things are going differently than I'd like. I feel, in fact, like I've been living for quite a while in the field where the sewage line dumps. It smells nasty and walking anywhere is slow going. But this is also where the most gorgeous, rare flowers grow. They are phenomenal. Brilliant colors, delicate petals, some tall & stunning, others more demure. Why am I blessed to be among these lovely things?

Lots of people close to me seem overwhelmed by the number of things that have gone badly for us in the last couple of years. Some expect me to be bitter and angry. I understand what they mean and why they'd expect that. It's hard to explain all the amazing loveliness that has come with it -- the love, gifts, generosity, prayers -- from every corner of my life. Everyone goes through miserable stuff sometimes, but I'm not confident that everyone gets the kind or quantity of support I am now receiving. I sometimes feel guilty about it.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly what you mean and I don't know how to explain it.


Thanks for using this space to share your encouraging words.