Friday, July 1, 2011

Get Rid of the %$#! House

We have been trying to sell our house for a year. A YEAR. A long year of paying the mortgage every month.

Great news: We sold the house!

Bad news: We haven't closed yet and the list of things we need to spend money on just keeps growing and growing and growing.

We're losing money on the house, of course. We're selling it for quite a bit less than we paid for it. And the inspector found a few things that we needed to repair. And the buyer has a government loan so the government has another list of things that need to be repaired. And in the meantime the water heater exploded. Blah, blah, blah...

It's not a desperate financial crisis. We *can* pay for these things. We're not going hopelessly into debt. I am very thankful for that.

It is an emotional crisis. I just want to be cut off from all the responsibilities connected to the church my husband was serving there. At every setback I want to call the sr. pastor and tell him a bill is in the mail and by the way I'M STILL MAD AT YOU! We have paid so much in time, money, grief, mental & emotional & spiritual health because of the abuse in that church's leadership.

It makes me realize how powerful the undertow of depression is and how close I am to the shoreline. Most of the time I feel like my mental health is safe but when these stressors -- the ones connected specifically to our last church -- stack up, I feel like I might go under. It takes a lot of conscientious effort to keep my head up. God has been merciful to hold me together so far.


  1. I feel the same way....praying that our houses close soon and the responsibility connections to the places that caused mental, physical, emotional and spiritual stress will be gone...or at least something we don't have to focus on monthly. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who had the thought of sending a bill to the sr. pastor. S.K.

  2. It is a bit scary to realize how fragile our emotional state really is, isn't it? A stomach flu can floor our body, and so many things can incapacitate our mind... Lord, have mercy. And depressed or not, He does.

  3. I understand completely!!! I think I am getting past evil things that have happened at previous churches and something happens to cause me to want to go punch the people that caused so much harm to our family. We are still trying to sell our house as well. I just want to be rid of that burden. We are really struggling financially, but I am trusting God to get us thru. Granted I have to remind myself daily :/ sometimes moment by moment. MS


Thanks for using this space to share your encouraging words.