Sunday, March 28, 2010

Depression Symptoms: Sadness

Recently I posted a list of the symptoms of major depression. I thought it might be helpful (to you and to me) if I describe how each of these symptoms has affected me. I’ve read the list of depression symptoms dozens of times in my life, but it was almost meaningless to me until I started living it.

A persistent, sad, empty mood

Two weeks of persistent sadness seems to be the standard measure for depression. I used to wonder how anyone could possibly feel sad for two weeks straight. Two days, maybe, but then you just have to get a hold of yourself.

Now I understand. I have felt sad for months at a time this year. I have been paralyzed by it. I have felt like I was drowning in sadness. Moments of hope or optimism sometimes felt like slippery things floating past me in the ocean, things someone else knew how to grasp but I just watched them go by.

At one point, Therapist was trying to help me imagine when it would be time to talk seriously about my husband resigning for the sake of our mental health. She suggested if I could not remember the last time I was happy, it might be time. I actually thought, “You mean I should be able to remember the last time I was happy?”

To read all the posts in the depression symptoms series, go here.

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Thanks for using this space to share your encouraging words.