I suppose not calling him a jerk would help.
I am absolutely sure that senior pastor is making decisions that he considers good, responsible, Christian. I am also absolutely sure that, from my perspective, he seems to be a poor manager, self-centered, short-sighted, lacking compassion, and sometimes just mean. "Mean" implies evil intention, which I do not believe he has. I feel like he does.
I want so much to let go of this guy. Why do I care what he does or thinks or feels about Husband or me? Don't I have better things to do? It's like he creeps up on me when I'm trying to ignore him. I've been browsing the book Boundaries by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. They describe healthy boundaries as permeable in a specific way: allowing good to come in, and keeping bad out. I'm sure that trying to make sense of a relationship that has persisted in senselessness qualifies as "bad" that would be better kept out.